Day 8..=')

Last night me and Alene officially broke up.. It was the longest goodbye I ever made, I had some talks with her, some flashbacks memories with her, just brings us to tears, some smile and laughter.. I had the worst day and night in my entire life, I cried all the way home after dropping her home, I told her everything and how my heart felt for her.. Just to have that little hope I saw in her face, but nothing can change her mind.

I cried the entire night, till 6 in the morning, like a baby lost his toy, a child who had fallen down badly, a teenager that stresses in life, an adult, who lost a loved one. Had a few talks with my brother and his friend, Serene, gave me plenty of advises, and I appreciate it very much. Kept on thinking things i shouldn't think about.. All I'm asking is back to what we are before.. just a simple request.

I woke up at 9 this morning, just wondering could I stop thinking so much and just go on with life? Went downstairs, and no one was home, they went for breakfast. I called up my friends, asking them to play bball late in the evening, cause I wanted to perspire and just be free. Had breakfast with Nick, later on went for gaming session with the guys. Kinda makes me past lots of time there. Later on, play bball with them.. came back home, and have dinner with my parents.
For the 1st time, I'm hurt, so badly, I wanted to stand up, trying so hard not to cry to every sad song I heard on radio, trying to calm myself in every way. and now, I'm still trying to calm down..

I hope that she knows how much she mend to me, tho it's really killing me to know that we're not together anymore.. I erased every memories, pictures and msges i had with her.. Still there some floating around in my room, and every nook and cranny, there's a piece of her memory laying there.

I still love her.. I know I'm a fool...but what is love?..